Facebook baby group has somehow turned into a fully fledged support system that really should be my close family and friends,but instead, is a group of girls I’ve never had the pleasure to meet but they all have a baby born in July except me.. Who ditched the boring August group because July board was way more fun. (SORRY AUGUST GROUP BUT YOU DON’T SEEM THE TYPE TO GIGGLE OF A PICTURE OF PICTURE OF MY BABY HOLDING A BEER)
They’re not your normal group… Oh no. Long gone are the boring bastards that want to complain about *NAGGY VOICE* early weening or co-sleeping.,**Hamheads of the world.. BE GONE ! These are moms that count down til happy hour (the hour the wine gets poured or the other half takes the screaming blue faced poo exploding baby from you). These bunch of moms are the ones who didn’t fit into the stereotypical baby center boards, where I can hear about babies ACCIDENTALLY licking a bit of vindaloo (and I believe enjoying it… Naming no names)
They come to the safe place of our private group to bitch about their monster-in-laws who decide to wake the baby from their hard worked for nap, or to tell you ‘you mustn’t pick him up when he’s crying’ (not mine. Thank baby jesus for small miracles) and call each others boyfriends assholes. I also believe for the more serious assholes, Taylor.. Hayley.. I’m looking at you, there has been mentions of a hitman. Admittedly that was from me.. But hey ho.
Everyone deserves one of these Facebook groups so get yourself together, kick out the boring no early weening and Co sleeping bastards and enjoy looking at other people’s babies doing the same stupid shit at yours, like having a meltdown because daddy said hello (meltdown max) or doing a poonami whilst at the weigh in clinic. Because guess what. That’s the kinda shit babies do. Someone needs to let Sam faires know that she’s gonna be done for false advertisement in her mommy diaries.. Because I’m sorry to tell you.. But if you put my baby in a rubber ring.. And float him across a spa pool he would do one of two things, PUKE. OR. SHIT!
BCJULY16 You girls are keeping me alive and sane. Shout out to Phillipa (although she said I was 28 in the guess the age picture thread) for being a seriously funny twat.
Routine Andrea who still now.. Doesn’t know that’s her name or that she’s a star in my blog.
Hayley, Abi and Lauren for making me laugh enormous amounts about the stupid shit that goes on in their lives.
And all the girls who inspire me to write this.. I see you all (Justin bieber s cheesyline)
**HAMHEAD is some dick heads username on babycenter July 16 board who likes to Google facts about boring shit like weening, routine, co-sleeping, her profile picture is a dog with ham over his face. Please feel free to go send her abuse… Or WORSE tell her your weening at 5months and not 6