If the names Rocky Zuma and Skye, have you humming a theme tune.. You’ve mastered parenthood already.. PAW PATROL you are my saviour.. Along with coffee.
There’s something magical about that theme tune and hearing your crying baby shut the… Hearing your baby settle down.
After a night of teething, shoving your fingers along your slobber chops gums, bonjela being dribbled onto clean babygrows (or spat in my eye) ;then wiping the babygrow with a wetwipe and deciding IT’S NOT TOO WET to sleep in..The last thing you want after your cold coffee is a screaming teething crocodile baby.. And after pacing the living room and kitchen numerous times praying that your Dribble monster (spawn of Satan as I’ve heard many call their teething offspring) will fall to sleep.. There’s only one thing to keep you sane..PAW PATROL. With a dash of the rocking swing. This should give you just enough time before a new lot of screaming, to sterilise last night’s bottles and catch up on your Whatsapp group chat.. Who coincidentally are also screaming ‘halle-fucking-luja paw patrol’ as their child finally shuts the hell up after 3hours of screaming and kicking you in the stomach/arms/legs.
Don’t get involved in the brainwashing of ‘you shouldn’t dump your child in front a tv‘ please remember.. If you don’t your personal hygiene WILL SUFFER because let me tell you.. Showers and brushing your teeth without the help of paw patrol are near enough impossible.
And don’t be fooled.. Those babys KNOW when it’s the break or blaze and the bastard monster machines take over. Like now… My baby has begun to scream… You know why. .