Alfalfa the cat, has been and always will be, my baby. Iv had his fluffy ass 5 years, he’s seen his little cat friends come and go (not so street smart. And speeding bmws FUCK YOU ASSHOLES!) but he’s always been here. We used to spend our mornings in bed together ( disgusting you may say.. But I’ve come to believe that Oscars shit in bed is WAYYY worse.. And that’s happened on occasion.) he’d purr up my face and I’d fuss him and tell him ‘your the king of the jungle‘ .. I’d share my chicken nuggets with him. He’d often bring me back presents.. Like the 12 wriggly worms on the bed one day and him.. Proud as punch in the middle.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s had his moments.. Like the time my two Russian hamsters.. Shaniqua and boo went missing and never came back.. 👀. (I really should of thought about shaniquas name when I took her to the vets, the road chick opposite me with her staffy didn’t look overly impressed when ‘shaniqua Dempsey the Russian hamster’ got called through in her see through pink ball)
Many a day he would bring back full meals, he bought back slices of hot pizza, chicken, wedges, we had some veg once I later learnt he was going in a neighbors kitchen window while she was dishing out tea and stealing it right off their plate HA! THAT’S MY BOY!
BUT NOW…oscar and dory are here.. He spends day in day out trying to escape out of the door and when he does finally get out, me and gingy spend half a night with our phone torches chasing the fluffy white blob with legs round our car. The neighbors car. The neighbors beautiful flowerbed 🙄. Shaking fucking whiskers temptations doing our whisper shouting .(if you know. You know. )…
So alfalfa, I’m sorry our mornings in bed have changed. I’m sorry I make the baby stroke you. I’m sorry he screams at you and attempts to kick you. And I’m TRULY sorry we thought you needed the company of Doris the hell child.
But the next time Oscar is having 8hours of full sleep after screaming blue murder for hours beforehand, and you decide your going to do your best lion rawr and 5am.i will kick your fluffy arse.