Nothing interesting

I actually have nothing interesting to say. Nothing happened today . You know. . I’ll just describe my day with you. It started with the mad rush round , where I’d told gingy to tidy downstairs last night (he actually believed he had) , for his dad and his nan’s visit to see Oscar. So obviously the house has to be pristine . Last thing I want is for their conversation in the car to be about my deodorant can + empty loo roll  that’s rolling round the bathroom floor or the 5 dummies that had hidden themselves strategically in the living room. Anyway. . . Had he tidied downstairs . . Had he Bollocks!My uggs were by the door , my stairs had 3piles of clean washing to be put away. It would seem I haven’t DUSTED since Oscar was born.

The cat had played ping pong with his biscuits all over the floor. I’m talking 101 James wellbeloved biscuits starting in the kitchen and ending in my sodding bedroom! . . And also cheekily thrown a few up on the sofa 🙄.

So I’m running around cleaning and hear the wake up call. . The death scream, the where the hell are you, why aren’t you feeding me , angry cry. I go up and get the ‘where the fuck have you been bitch’ eyes. 👀 . . So then. . It’s feeding time. . I’m in a rush and Oscar decides..im gonna chew this bottle a bit. Maybe spit some over you and just leave you with around 4solid minutes before father in law and his mum get here (I genuinely feel as though he was mocking me.. Really mugging me off like) . So. . . I’ve sprayed Polish at everything cat included . Managed to baby wipe all floors and surfaces (all hail the baby wipe. ) changed Oscar. Baby lotioned him so he smells clean for now. And. . . . . I can smell shit. . . Oh that’s right the doors knocking and Oscars poonamied . . That’s the quickest nappy change – i can’t hear the door in history . And walahh . They’re here. The house is. . . Well. . . I kicked a few dummies on the way into the living room but it appears clean. And I sat. . For an hour discussing baby rice. . And how forward Oscar is. What a morning.

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