Today we decided to venture out , not one bus..but two. . To go fetch some crafty bits and bobs for Christmas cards. So me and Oscar can be arty farty.
Anyway, I’d made this decision to leave the house at 4am..when the blinds were shut and I couldn’t see the outside which looked like the start of the wizard of Oz. Realistically when I saw then weather I should have decided not to leave the house for my ‘only second‘ bus journey with oscar. But I did it anyway. . . It started OK. . Then second bus, an old loopy woman hit a lady trying to get off the bus with her pram.. (only in Wolverhampton folks)
Anyway we made it round the craft shop, accidentally ramming the pram into piles of A4 paper and marked down Halloween stickers. Just as the fresh (well fag filled we were in Wednesfield ) air hit Oscar. . . He woke. I decided enough was enough and we would head across to Costa. MY SAFE PLACE.
We got into Costa ordered a halloumi toasty and Orange hot chocolate (all praise the Christmas drinks) sat down. . Oscar did his usual GET ME OUT THIS FUCKING PRAM cry. I got him out. . Sorted him a bottle and shoved it in his mouth before he decided to scream Costa down and embarrass me any further.
Opposite was a woman having a leisurely meal , breastfeeding her 2week old baby, no crying , looking so relaxed and happy. And here was me. . . Fighting with Oscar to have his Damn bottle. He FINALLY finished his bottle and 2special needs ladies came over to ask the usual questions . . . ‘How old is he? . . Is he good? bla Bla Bla‘ . . At this point I was attempting to wind Oscar but also keep up with their conversation and be polite and smile. And that’s when it happened. Oscar projectile vomited all over himself, me, and my sandwich . The ladies walked off mid conversation laughing telling everybody else in Costa and the rest of the world. And me. . Well I was left covered in Oscar vom. .and then of course . . . He shat. Lovely.