Some days you lose

Some days you win. The days you win are the days your other half takes out the bin, your baby takes his bottles nicely without giving you a knuckle sandwich and you all get a lovely nights sleep (no leap 4 sleep regression IF YOU KNOW-YOU PROBABLY HAVE TOOTHPICKS HOLDING YOUR EYES OPEN) . Perhaps some cute selfies you know. . . That kind of shit.

Other days you lose. . Like today for example I truly believed I was onto a winner, gingy changed Oscars nappy and I got a BATH that’s right. . . A long hot bath. Which I had ONE bath bomb that I’d treated myself too. I took the plunge and decided to use said bath bomb . . Really it’s a ticking time bomb because you don’t wanna waste it but. . . You know that your baby’s gonna have a meltdown once you drop that pink flowery explosive bit of goodness into your bath. Because a bath and a happy baby is farrrrr to good to be true. Or is it?  5mins into bath . . . It’s going lovely , babies gurgling away,im in a bath that’s hotter than hell (and a shit lot hotter than any cup of tea I’ve made since Oscar) HALLELUJAH , in goes the bath bomb . . . Baby’s still gurgling away. . Could this be the day that I get a relaxing bath and come down to a happy boyfriend and baby SHIT AND SICK FREE. . .all limbs in tact, hair not pulled out of head,  Well. . .

It would of been-but LADIES (dad you don’t wanna read past this point) nobody warned me after Oscar that things could be a little more sensitive when I say a little I mean I wish my loo roll was in the fridge . . . Well lush Sex bomb . . . You should be righly named FOOF ON FIRE 🔥 because let me tell you. . Right now I’m ready to fetch a compress out the bloody freezer. . Jesus! I evacuated that bath quicker than if Oscar had shat in it. 💩

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. As you can imagine I can’t upload a fitting photo for this article so here’s a cute photo of Oscar. _20161108_135804.JPG

Published by The Dempsey diaries

Just a mother, telling you of my shit stories, trying too hard to make you laugh.

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