Some days you win. The days you win are the days your other half takes out the bin, your baby takes his bottles nicely without giving you a knuckle sandwich and you all get a lovely nights sleep (no leap 4 sleep regression IF YOU KNOW-YOU PROBABLY HAVE TOOTHPICKS HOLDING YOUR EYES OPEN) . Perhaps some cute selfies you know. . . That kind of shit.
Other days you lose. . Like today for example I truly believed I was onto a winner, gingy changed Oscars nappy and I got a BATH that’s right. . . A long hot bath. Which I had ONE bath bomb that I’d treated myself too. I took the plunge and decided to use said bath bomb . . Really it’s a ticking time bomb because you don’t wanna waste it but. . . You know that your baby’s gonna have a meltdown once you drop that pink flowery explosive bit of goodness into your bath. Because a bath and a happy baby is farrrrr to good to be true. Or is it? 5mins into bath . . . It’s going lovely , babies gurgling away,im in a bath that’s hotter than hell (and a shit lot hotter than any cup of tea I’ve made since Oscar) HALLELUJAH , in goes the bath bomb . . . Baby’s still gurgling away. . Could this be the day that I get a relaxing bath and come down to a happy boyfriend and baby SHIT AND SICK FREE. . .all limbs in tact, hair not pulled out of head, Well. . .
It would of been-but LADIES (dad you don’t wanna read past this point) nobody warned me after Oscar that things could be a little more sensitive when I say a little I mean I wish my loo roll was in the fridge . . . Well lush Sex bomb . . . You should be righly named FOOF ON FIRE 🔥 because let me tell you. . Right now I’m ready to fetch a compress out the bloody freezer. . Jesus! I evacuated that bath quicker than if Oscar had shat in it. 💩
Don’t say I didn’t warn you. As you can imagine I can’t upload a fitting photo for this article so here’s a cute photo of Oscar.