Trip to grandmas

Today we had a trip to grandma’s . . . I’m talking free cooked food, a hot drink and a babysitter . We only popped round. . . For five hours (guess we were making the most of devil child being in someone else’s arms)

We were then told about life in the dinosaur ages. . . I mean. . 1950s (sorry nan)  about Terry toweling nappys , and having to boil them on a stove , because the washer,She only had two days a week,’cause she had to share with the neighbours. I learnt about a cold paving stone in a pantry instead of a fridge and how ‘I didn’t know I’d been born’ . Then I was taught how to use a washing machine. . Let’s remember I’ve lived on my own for 7years now so I’m not entirely sure if she thinks that I don’t wash my clothes…or perhaps that I stink? I’m not entirely sure. . But it was all worth it for that chocolate eclair , with the runny melted chocolate on top *dribble* yeah. . . The diets going well. . . 🙄

I also have a lovely story to tell my father about his conception.  And his brothers. 😏 . .( Dad. . She wanted a girl, you must be a right disappointment)  Uncle Mark the story for you is. . If a caravans a rocking don’t come a knocking . Because you know,thats the kinda stories you hear when you visit your grandma. But for the free hands and the food and the cuppa. . Worth it! (my dad must love my blog. . . Hearing about my foof on fire. . About his parent having sex..i pull out all the stops) 

Grandma made sure that I got a good photo for Facebook (she’s in her 80s people and she wants a good photo for Facebook )  *side note*. . .dont let your nans have Facebook you end up with status’s that are meant to be messaged for example ‘Hi Jean , hope you are well and the kids , uncle Rodgers not looking so good, probably won’t be long for him, he has got over 50s life plan though so not worrying about the funeral. See you Sunday. Mavis’  like you don’t know it’s from mavis. . With her full name above it and picture of her in a deck chair in the garden? And don’t start me on explaining why you full named your old dear. . . When you tagged them in something 😂 

She also sent us home with chocolate orange donuts and a Toblerone . Now Toblerone are you taking the fucking piss? !  What the shit is that now. . . More chocolate in a smartie 🙄 .

I mean that’s gonna be my breakfast tomorrow when I can’t be arsed to get out of bed after playing dummy ping pong through the night with Oscar. How am I meant to live off a Toblerone now. Robbing bastards. These are the real problems of the world. They really really are.

And Costa. . . I gave you a second chance. . We actually put Costa in Google maps on the way home for that lindt hot chocolate . . . Well it tastes Bollocks, dunno what lindt they were on about but it certainly weren’t one of those little red balls of heaven let me tell you .

So as you can see.today I’ve probably put on a stone. Thanks nan. Also. . My Hippy friends starting with Terry toweling nappys , her green peace friends talked her into it. . . She’s going all the old fashioned way , you two can discuss washing methods? 😉

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Published by The Dempsey diaries

Just a mother, telling you of my shit stories, trying too hard to make you laugh.

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