You know. . Babies who’ve mastered rolling at one day old or can sing the alphabet at 3months? Ain’t that right Heather 😉 

Whats this motherly competition ? Because let me tell you Oscar hasn’t rolled, he hasn’t sung, he sure as hell isn’t off to university (Sophia. . Eyes on you little girly) 

But people do believe they’ve given birth to small Einsteins . . Mini genius’s . . . No your baby is not saying hello mummy how are you at 4 weeks. . And no he didn’t walk out your foof? !

I see a lot of older babies 12months+ on my Facebook and the mums are comparing all the things they can do . . ‘Harry’s been to violin, football and Olympic swimming lessons’ . . ‘ well Noah trialled for man city today and also can speak 5 languages. ‘ we don’t need to one up. . It isn’t if you’ve been to tenerife I’ve been elevenerife . . Know what I’m saying ? ! 

Right let me be the first to say this. . . Apart from yourself and your mother in law.NOBODY CARES. nobody cares that little jenny’s on solids or that little Mia cut her first tooth at 3 weeks. We don’t want to know if your 5 week old is already potty trained. . We’re busy, cleaning a shitty nappy off our 3month old who can’t hold his own head up, or laugh, or do anything at all he should by this milestone. let alone do a triathlon . In fact honestly, I’d rather watch a bit of jezza kyle.

Fortunately I don’t come into contact with many people like this, but I do see the odd Facebook story pop up especially recently ‘5month old potty trained‘  ‘7week old clearly saying mum‘ . I’m sorry. But I’m calling Bollocks! And if it’s true. . . More fool you. . A) they don’t make pants little enough for a five month old. . Looks like your gonna be off to the public loos a lot more often. B) no peace and quiet for you bitch . dsc_2292