Motherhood challenges

Motherhood challenges are the challenges you never in your wildest dreams (or nightmares)  would of imagined happening before children…. For exammmmple…

Going to the toilet, in a public place…

With a pram. What’s that about? I mean, do you leave the child to be kidnapped while you take the pee you were desperate for (afterall they’d bring them back once they realised the sleep routine isn’t mastered) or do you take them in with you and risk the pushchair tipping outside because your bundle of joy was counter weighing your abundance of bags full of baby shit. Or lastly do you wait for the parent and baby room, which has an unfortunately placed handryer that will go off and make your baby cry? The choice is yours…

Carrying your food tray

Today I got to test out the reality of one handed pushing and holding a food tray in the other hand. I’m not even gonna tell fibs here… The only reason I was taking my tray to the bin in the first place is because I could see people silently judging me as I began the motions of walking away from the tray full of rubbish on the table. So…. I picked up the tray and began.. One handed pushing of the pushchair, turns out… Not so simple, the silent judges nearly watched me pour half a plate of roast potato much and gravy along with 3 baby wipes full of snot all over oscars head, before loudly shouting to a cleaner to help me as I was embarrassing myself.

When they’ve pulled your boob out

I’d like to add,i don’t breastfeed, but you better believe that I spend a lot of time with one side of my boob out, it must be programmed in to slyly pull that bra out, you know the one that’s 2 cupsizes too big now (that pregnancy boob job did not last)  a little discoloured because you put it in with a red sock and of course ONLY FROM PRIMARK. I mean why, and what’s worse now is that I’m absolutely no longer embarrassed by it, I can be chatting away in a shop and be like ‘ooops sorry let me just pop my tit away there’ not to mention that usually along side the awol boob is some snot that my child’s kindly wiped across my chest or even better, a bit of Ella’s kitchen smear!

Picture of perpetrator below, feel free to add your motherhood challengescpt_1493043450033.jpg

Published by The Dempsey diaries

Just a mother, telling you of my shit stories, trying too hard to make you laugh.

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