The second pregnancy

I can only conclude about subsequent pregnancies the things that I know.The first thing is… Yep, you forgot everything, when on earth does the baby get limbs and not a poppy seed any more.. I don’t remember and what’s worse.. The app you originally treated like a bible with your first is totally disregarded.. Fuck it. It’ll grow limbs at some point eh??! And shiiiiiit I forgot how bad the heartburn can be, time to invest stocks in peptac (lord knows I’m not paying gaviscon prices the way I neck it through the night)Secondly you totally aren’t counting down days to midwife appointments, infact you forgot. You totally and utterly forgot until 30 minutes before when you’re running round the house trying to find your pee sample pot (still no easier to piss in May I add but now you’re more accustomed to piss on your hands)You get big fast and its still no less annoying than the comments you had first time round..NO IT’S NOT TWINS. YES I DO THINK I’LL MAKE IT ANOTHER 6 MONTHS. Except now that baby bump is visible from conception, wonderful,ain’t no hiding that from your colleagues when your top button won’t do up.You spend a lot of the time pissing yourself. Sneeze.. Piss. Cough piss. Laughed too hard… You guessed it PISS. I’ve never had to change my pants so many times in my god damn life?!Your standards lower, I remember first time round the handful of second hand clothes i had come to me for Oscar, I was extremely grateful but in my head he was only ever gonna wear the brand spanking £13 a baby grow new stuff that I had filled his color coded wardrobe with.THIS TIME oh boy oh boy, there’s not one new thing in the wardrobe, all second hand, bargain 50p pack of 3 babygrow I THINK YES. You know why, because you and me and every other SUBSEQUENT parent is now well aware of poonamis, and we ain’t got no time to be trying to wash out those poo stains. Lord hear me now. They’re going in the bin. Amen.Then comes guilt oh man, I’m looking at my first and only child thinking ‘shit I’m about to ruin your life-as well as my sleep’ I’m spending every extra bit of time doing fun and exciting things to combat the fact that in a few short months I’m gonna have to share myself and I feel so bad about it. Its rough, real rough.So that’s my summary of being pregnant with your second, it goes 2000x faster, you jump from 6 weeks pregnant to 26 weeks pregnant in less than a week yet you look 30 weeks pregnant from conception. The guilts horrific and you plan to dress your baby in cast-offs and wonder whether you can get away with the old bouncer you’ve had stored in the shed.Wish me luck ladies, it’s only about to get worse from here on in, 2 months left (not 4 like I’d been telling everyone)