Recently went to a kids party, which was THANKFULLY in a function room with a bar.

I was the first to the bar and I’m happy to admit that tbh, its all well and good pretending you dont need a drink to get through it. But I DID. I REALLY REALLY DID.

25 screaming children and childrens entertainer singing ‘let it go’ louder than a cabaret act at bultins; (by the way, im in the wrong job, I’d have nailed being elsa!and those parties aint cheap) i did see a handful of judgemental stares, but ive decided.. Deep down. It was. Jealousy.

Next up was the gift, im not sure what the spending amount should be for a child you don’t really know is, but for me its Little as possible. So some leftover tat from throughout the year, and a little sainsburys toy sale gift – jobs a good’un! Heres where the problem lies, it was only as we was about to leave i realised all my recycled gift bags were either babyshower ones, Christmas ones OR VERY BOYISH ONES.Well.. Its 2019,gender equality all the way! She got a T-Rex bag. Was it a bit of a giveaway that i hadnt purchased anything? … Probably. Do i care? Nope!

The kids got an absolute FEAST of a meal, im talking chicken nuggets, pizza, fries, sandwiches and unfortunately at this party it was dished out for you (posh party eh?) so you couldn’t “Accidentally” over fill your childs plate in the knowledge that you would be eating this, once its cold in 25 minutes. That was a let down, all the parents, catching eyes above the table with a whiff of nuggets up their noses. Phwarrr.ONE PARENT TOOK CONTROL, he got an extra portion of food for INVISIBLE CHILD, then dealed it better than our local chavs in the park. I ended up with a slice of pizza and two nuggets and at this point my eyes were full of love and admiration for this parent.. What an absolute LEDGEND.

last but not least came pictures and party games with characters, first off KIDS HATE Characters i dunno why we all think they wanna meet them, cos’ you guarantee they’ll scream and cling to your leg with absolute FEAR, and party games.. Well my kids the one that refuses to be out, and when they’re eventually dragged out (not by me huns, I’m not about to fight that battle THIS IS YOUR PARTY, im sipping my drink pretending he’s not mine) screams blue murder whilst rolling about the floor and demanding a prize.

All in all 10/10 way to ruin a Sunday, but once you get home and ask your baby if they had a great time ‘THEY LOVED IT’

so.. My advice is, book a party somewhere with a bar. And put a buffet on for the adults. Cheers.

Big thanks to Holly for letting me use a photo of little Daisy.