Ladies and gentlemen, the time is upon us, when every single toy on the ad break is ‘i want it!! I want it mummy, MUMMY I NEEEEEEEED IT!’ i mean.. They absolutely fucking don’t , dunno ’bout you lot but my lounge rivals the recent sainsburys toy sale; WHICH BY THE WAY if you didnt attend – you really heavily missed out on buying discounted shit you never even knew you wanted.

DAILY i stand on one of the peppa pig family, or end up skating across my lounge on marshalls fire engine..

But boys and girls, we’ve approached the season to be jolly tra lalala – Santa is officially watching every move your child makes, you can officially use Santa in every which way possible.

Wont eat their tea? Santas watching – won’t willingly brush their teeth? Santas watching – won’t stay in bed past 7am you guessed it.. SANTASSSSS WATCHING. and its a fucking dream, sat with my drink ‘mummy me have some’

‘no babe, mummy needs to drink this beautiful baileys coffee with no interruptions else santa won’t be pleased’

I have absolutely no idea what im going to do come January but right now, I am RINSING this shit. Ive got an app on my phone to call santa, can put in if hes been bad or good absolute bribery gold.

Only small, teensy, eensy little problem i have is that.. IN RETURN.. Santas promised a hell of alot of toys, that i can’t seem to find on WISH for ‘FREE only pay delivery’… Bugger it. Im gonna be skint!