To the not yet mama

Putting your torch light behind your fifth internet cheapy pregnancy test and squinting SO desperately to see a line. Putting it on the side, rather than the bin so that you can check it again in an hour. I’ve been there.

Having a good old cry when your best friend announces shes pregnant with her second, and you’ve been trying for long before her first.You’re happy but you’re sad.. So so sad.

Googling all sorts of things.. Like ‘chlomid’

‘progesterone’

‘ovulation tests’

‘what kind of foods can help you conceive?’

Dieting for the fifth time because your doctor wont give you a second look until your in the right BMI bracket.

Like lifes not being hard enough on you, they’re taking away the chocolate too.

Having a list of baby names and praying nobody uses your favorite before your ever able too.

Becoming the most loving pet mom, in order to fill a gap that you’re worried you’ll never fill.Boy do those fur babies mean the world to us, let me tell you, they make the best gap fillers and you’ll never ever be without them.

Googling adoption.

Wondering about fostering.

Being godmother too all the babies.

Discussing surrogacy.

Saving for IVF.

Praying that every symptom throughout your cycle COULD be it.

I’m not here to sell a dream. To tell you it’ll happen when you relax. Or that you need to stop thinking about it. Because the truth is, you never will, and I’m sure just reading this will break your heart. But i want you to know. You’re not alone.. Get talking and you’ll be surprised how many people are in the same boat. Get pushy with you’re doctor, if you’ve researched (which I’m sure you have) TELL THEM. Tell them everything. Ask them everything.

And my last but not least tip would be.. Never EVER lose hope.

MIRACLES HAPPEN EVERY SINGLE DAY.

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