oh my giddy aunt?! (talking of which.. I need to order a present for)
Have you noticed that Christmas is one hell of a huge massive ginormous STRESS.
From writing 30 Christmas cards for the nursery class, spelling the teachers names right and bulk buying multipacks of crisps for the millionth Christmas party that you need to ‘donate’ too.
I feel like Christmas as enjoyable as it is to see those beaming faces is so friggin’ NUTS. Spending god knows how much on Christmas cards with all the relative titles, nanny and grandad, aunty and uncle, great great grandma, great auntys cousins grandma twice removed..All for us to open, swiftly remove the fiver and pop it on display for…. 3 days? Its actually a bit mental, and don’t even get me started on gift etiquette, Jane from down the road always buys a multipack of biscuits so you’ve got to remember to buy her that cheese selection from tesco whilst its on offer but make sure you check the sodding date.
Cleaning your house entirely like an episode with Kim and aggy in, as if you’re family haven’t lived there and seen the mess the entire time? Even putting on special Christmas bedding because… Fuck it its Christmas.
Then theres the secret santa, £10 spend limit but quite honestly you don’t even REALLY wanna spend a squid on Dave who gave you a disciplinary for coming in hungover the day after the Christmas do.
Its not officially December if you dont spend it balls deep into your overdraft proclaiming at every event ‘fuck it, its Christmas’ and buying another round of jagers.
THEN theres the illnesses,one member of the family at ALL TIMES needs to be on antibiotics, like an oath to big pharma!
Amazon prime, this is the ONLY time of year i rinse this, and i mean RINSE IT. I’ve seen the parcel man more than my family this Christmas and I’m genuinely forming a bond to invite him over for a boxing day piss up?
And last but simply not least, gifts, your 3 year old who you bought EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING from his favorite tv programme in November now, a week before Christmas no longer likes.. Said tv programme.
Scouring the entirety of b+m for something from your kids for nanna.. Only to get the same dove and slipper set you buy every year.
And lynx africa. For your dad. Cause… Fuck it. Its Christmas.