I wonder if you ever remember me.. Clinging to two matching jumpers,

Having just lost oscars new brother or sister. Heart broken and sitting wondering what on earth i could do now.

Do you remember, left with nothing but those matching jumpers?

Time went on, negative tests OVER AND OVER another miscarriage.. A seriously broken heart. On christmas eve, during the last minute Christmas rush, i found this cute, cheap sparkly rainbow bauble half price, i of course took it home and popped it at the top of the tree.. And then…

a Christmas miracle,boxing day i got those two pink lines; having been put on progesterone and aspirin just as some sort of back up… It worked, my belly grew, the kicks got stronger, the scans were less terrifying each and every time.. And more full of excitement and love.

Finally we started to fill the drawers, crisp white babygrows, little giraffe rompers….. AND THE MATCHING JUMPER.

buying ‘how to be the best big brother book’, gifts for the baby, gifts FROM the baby to her big brother..

Scary moments which ended in the hospital – lack of movement, racing heartbeats, iron infusions all just reminding you that if you end this journey with a baby, it’s nothing short of a miracle.

After a quick induction and a plain sailing labor, i finally got my beautiful miracle rainbow baby… To fill my second jumper.

Eden summer, the rainbow after the storm.

And how amazing it felt, Putting that rainbow bauble back on the tree this year,with my girl in the bouncer looking at the lights and sparkles.

Christmas miracle.