Where will i find some new… Dignity?

I had to contemplate posting this, but… At the end of the day right – times are shit and if it gives you a laugh then… It was worth it.

So as you’re aware NEW YEAR NEW ME, I’m trying to diet- slimming world to be exact and some of you who’ve done this diet will know it does make you……. Well.. A little gassy.probably because of my shares in aldi baked beans.

Anyway back to the story, so ten years of hairdressing, 2 children and all lifes thrown at me, my back has well and truly had it. Well.. Actually its had it for about 6 years.. But i decided with my Christmas money i was gonna treat myself..

✨Treat yourself✨

So i booked into an Osteopath. I YouTubed it, and i knew it was gonna be brutal but still they keep 50% of your money if you don’t attend. And i needed it, I NEEDED my back to be clicked in ways it had never been clicked before.

I nervous pooped before i went, only had a little hot chocolate.
And in i went,it was more in depth than I expected and i sat for maybe 10 minutes, of the 40 minute appointment explaining how my back had got into such a horrific state- of course I assumed he didn’t believe me, the pinnacle of youth.until he saw it.

There were a lot of ‘ooooh dear’ and ‘oh…riiiiigghhts’ it was very close for comfort.
Maybe i got too comfortable i don’t know.

Anyway, my YouTube research showed many of the things that this man did to me. What i was NOT expecting, was that he needed to work on my legs. Ham strings to be exact.

But by this point we were a good.. 35 mins into the appointment, so he asked me to lift my leg as high as i could. I obliged. He then told me about all the excersises i could do, and i thought it was over. I relaxed. And then…

He said actually shall we just quickly try that stretch, he lifted my leg onto his shoulder and i was like…. Erm.. Right..
And thats when it happened.
He pushed my leg back as far as he could… And out came the biggest loudest wettest sounding fart you’ve ever heard in you’re entire life. Our eyes locked. We both had masks on so i couldn’t judge the smell. He quickly moved. I didnt know what to say or not to say.
And basically long story short i threw my £45 pound at his desk agreed to whatever future appointment he gave me. And ran away.

The End.

Published by The Dempsey diaries

Just a mother, telling you of my shit stories, trying too hard to make you laugh.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: