The kid.. And the dick.

The story of the dick – and my kids face……

Ok it’s not QUITE as bad as it sounds. Believe it or not. Still frowned upon.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to be a better person recently, seeing all these sea turtles hurt by our rubbish in the sea,and you know just trying to be abit better in the rubbish department.

Turns out going through baby wipes the way i do (makeup, dusting, makeshift kids baths) is totally NOT GOOD for the environment.

So i thought right, well… Ok.. I’ll buy some reusable wipes and just start small like.. One to take my makeup off or whatever. No biggy.

Now with my jump to being a better human came wanting to support small businesses, call me Saint bloody Beth.
There had been a post on an Etsy page about not having as many sales as hoped for, ON A REUSABLE WIPE!!
So.. Duh. I bought it.

Turns out..they’re bloody fab and I’m totally feelin’ them. So when my 4year old oscar got toothpaste all round his mush before school… No fear.. The reusable wipe is here.

Just shove me on a pedestal and call me eco friendly, small business supporting, turtle saviour Beth. Right? Well.. I mean.. Yeah, i am totally great- BUT… (AND ITS A BIG BUT) i also forgot to mention one teeny weeny detail that i bought this ladies worst seller…..u know, because I wanted to help.

And the worst seller.. Was the worst seller because.. Nobody REALLY wanted to wipe their face with a reusable penis wipe.

So yeah.. I wiped a penis all over my child’s face. He asked some questions and like the good mom i am, i was diplomatic and honest and used the right names for the male anatomy.. You know.

Not great when he trots into school telling mrs Hoohar that mommy wipes his face with wet penis’s

Can’t wait to show the social services how I’m saving the turtles. 🐢

Incase you too wanna help the turtles.. Or perhaps a dick hasn’t touched your face for a while ,links below 👇

https://etsy.me/3uT9nFu

2 thoughts on “The kid.. And the dick.

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