I’m a strong believer in what’s for you won’t go past you..
But today really has knocked me about.
Today I worked out that it costs me money to go to work.
Not a little bit, like nearly £300 a month.

Trying to find the right balance is becoming difficult for me and on top of a few extra annoyances, like my child free night away going to shit because the hotel ended up with an almighty leak and my car breaking and costing too much too fix.. I was already pretty on edge.

But then 5 mins apart I had not one but two job rejections where I didn’t even make it to interview. One of them being a job I’ve been waiting on since February that I really wanted.I’ve always been very confident in myself about my abilities and usually when I get a job rejection I laugh to myself and think what a huge mistake they’ve made. But today, it’s got me wondering why they’ve not wanted me. It’s really knocked my confidence if I’m honest.

It’s a bad day, and I just needed to let that out because we focus so much on sharing our good days that we sometimes forget to share the sh*t.

In my head I thought you know it’ll be quite nice to be a stay at home mom for a little bit but, already the thought leaves me with this pressure of finding my own income (that’s just me putting the pressure on myself) and this sense of purpose I feel like I’ll lose not being at work. That people will judge me for relying on my partners income…

It’s strange…. Really strange because this would be the perfect time to set up something of my own, usually I have a million ideas but today. I have none. Blergh.

#downday #downtime #feelinglow #stayathomemum #resignation #parenting #childcareissues #childcarecost #thecostofchildcare #flexibleworking #workingmom #workingparents #privatenursery #daynursery #worksmarternotharder #mentalload #mentalhealth