Weight < worth.

Yesterday was the first time I’ve not felt confident in what feels like my whole life.
I have always been-FAIRLY petit.
I’ve always been confident with or without my clothes on,
I mean you wouldn’t catch me walking round aldi in the noddy like, but I’ve never been ashamed or uncomfortable.

There’s so many girls 10x my size who i idolise, i think they look amazing, their confidence shines through and their outfits look perfect on them.

I, like many have gained some lockdown pounds and they’re not the kinda pounds i wanted ha- Yesterday i just felt really.. Crap.
And i just need some help in how the hell to dress?
Because i felt a shadow of myself, i walked past so many full length mirrors and hated what i saw, found myself trying to cover up and breathe in..
I bought a top and had to get changed in the toilets, because when you’ve lived for so long in a body, and it changes it is REALLY hard to navigate what to wear – especially in a climate where we can’t even try clothes on in store. It’s my birthday next month and no matter what size or shape i am, i want to be back to my confident radiant BAD BITCH self SO can anyone help me with what on earth clothes i can wear to flatter my, rather round,self 🙂

because at the end of the day, there is NOTHING in this world worth giving up pasta for.

I’m not sure what in the holy hell is going on- every inch of my body is screaming with exhaustion- I’m shovelling junk food in every thirty seconds to help with stress,

Every second of sun reminds me of my pregnancies, swollen cankles, the heartburn and torn apart vag!

My children are behaving like animals who need soddin’ muzzles,
Every single thing is an argument, and i am WADING through the washing piles, and cheap tacky magazine toys,

So why WHYYYY WHYY LORD have i just looked at a picture of a tiny little baby and thought, aw… I want one?

Like bitch the fuck you don’t! We nearrrrrrrrly there. We nearly at sleep through stage. We neaaaaarly at not paying for nursery stage. I’m nearly kissing goodbye to mamia nappies forever. WHAT THE HELL- why is it when the youngest approach two, we suddenly get the broody hormones kick in. NO NO ABSOLUTELY NO!!

I cleaned URINALS.

Around 3 years ago, i had a nearly two year old-I’d not long been made redundant from my hairdressing job of years – on CHRISTMAS EVE.

Life was… Well.. Abit scary.
I landed a job as a cleaner in a local department store, i LITERALLY scrubbed floors.
I got up at the crack of dawn to hoover their rugs, buff and sweep – and the absolute worst…THE HOURLY CLEAN OF THE TOILETS which FYI some people are absolutely GRUBBY😱.

For people who like cleaning, it was a job, but for me-someone who thrived off conversations and interaction – it was sh*t. I FELT ABSOLUTELY NO SATISFACTION CLEANING MENS URINALS. EW.

I never could see where i was going to get-i felt people looked at me like i was JUST that cleaner. Just get the cleaner to do it, just call her on the tanoy, she’ll do it.

Nearly 3 years on- i never would have guessed that I’d be walking straight past that department store to the local Waterstones to see MY OWN BOOKS.

Never would i have thought that I’d ever have that chance, that i would ever be so lucky.

I am incredibly lucky, humbled, but most of all, i am SO SO AWARE that i wouldn’t ever of been here without people who believed and had visions for me-this wasn’t off my own back, this was people who TRULY BELIEVED in me, when i barely believed in myself.

I am forever grateful to you all.
Thankyou ❤️

𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗶 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀.

I just wasn’t that ‘A’ grade student – IN ANYTHING.(except on my CV… Sorry, not sorry😂🤓)

I finished school, year 11.No ambition to stay on, in fact… No REAL ambition at all.
I wasn’t all that good at much? Y’know. Even the things i tried hard at, i was MEDIOCRE at best.
I didn’t know what i wanted to do with my adult life, all i knew was the things i enjoyed, i was just not as good at, as everyone else.
I skipped from job to job taking the qualifications with me time after time,

👍nursery nurse,
👍 hairdresser,
👍pharmacy assistant,
👍ward clerk
to name just a few.

When i finally decided that it doesn’t matter if you’re not the best,
It doesn’t matter if other people think it’s silly,
And it REALLY DOESN’T MATTER if it doesn’t work out.. But to just do whatever you wanna do REGARDLESS.

That’s when i made my books. They’re not perfect, but they’re all done by me.
The drawings, the writing, shit there’s even probably some spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. But i tried, my absolute best.
I had to do things I’ve never done before, like format and find the right colour settings for printing and basically just… Try hard.

And for the first time in my life, other than having my children, i feel like I’ve really accomplished something, that i can be proud of myself for.
So without further ado,

My books, available to preorder……. IN Waterstones 🎉❤️🍾🥺 FOR ONCE… IT DIDN’T MATTER THAT I WASN’T THE BEST.

And if anyones reading this with a ✨twinkly idea 💡✨ in their head. THEN DO IT.


We are NOT kardashian

you know, for quite some time i assessed every picture i posted.

I added filters and even sent them to friends for what would be THE BEST picture to post.

My pictures included, full makeup, push up bra and plenty of breathing in.

When my 4year old was first born, i kept up these appearances, hair extentions, tight skirts, full face.

But more recently in an aim to be more relatable-and… Really just give a more honest approach of life as a mother, I’ve been posting the FIRST picture i take… Without the makeup, without the hair. With my gut looking just like guts look.
And honestly… Its freeing, it’s like a strange weight has been lifted.

And people still love me, people still like my posts, people still comment.

And i see the girls, working hard to keep these appearances up, scared to be something that doesn’t look like what we see on the Internet,
but I’m urging you, if like me your keeping up appearances – we ARE NOT Kardashians.

We don’t have to be scared of our ulfiltered, unmodified, selves.


24 7

It’s 24/7
It doesn’t matter if you’re poorly, exhausted or have had the day from hell.

Parenting doesn’t have a break, you can be at breaking point and your children get a sickness bug and Blam… No rest for you.

It doesn’t matter if its your anniversary dinner or your once in a lifetime trip.
If the babies sick, the baby is sick.
If your toddler wants mama, then mamas gonna be there.

It doesn’t matter if you have a job you just need to do.
Or something really quick to pop too..

Cos being a mom comes first, and that’s the unforgiving part of parenting, that when you’re on your knees and can’t give any more you still have too.

Parenting is hard. Being a mama is hard.
And we’re conditioned when we’re thrown into this right after their birth, usually hours of pure effort and pain, sometimes trauma, sleep deprived and thats when we’re handed our little human.. At one of the hardest most pinnacle points of our life..

We are so amazing but.. Wow its hard isn’t it?!

The viscous cycle

What is it with kids man…
The vicious cycle of hoovering cheerios, blocking my hoover and then having to create a new meal, that WILL be scattered and hidden in my shaggy play room rug (absolutely not a euphemism btw). Only to find the little one eating a 4 day old nugget that got buried in there, or even get some damn cucumber on my bare feet.brrrrrrrr.

The endless days of, can I play blocks? Can I play lego? Wheres the pens and paper? and of course all the paper has one tiny scribble on and now they need more paper – which I do not have…
And what about the loo rolls, can we stick the loo rolls together?SELOTAPE HAS ANYONE GOT SELOTAPE!
And now its another mealtime, that i have to prepare for you, too not eat again!
And i HAVE TO RINSE an incredible amount of ketchup down the sink….

And the endless cycle between Toy story, Paw patrol, Frozen and Bing freaking bunny…shoes on, shoes off, coats on, coats off.. Too hot, too cold?


And if you didn’t read that at super speed, you’re doing it wrong 😂

I made it.

Sometimes it’s hard to see how far you’ve come.
For me anyway.

I’m constantly striving for more and more and it’s like I’ve forgotten that I’ve moved so far, so fast.

4 years ago i was writing little stories about my day and someone said, gosh you should totally blog about this.

And i sat and thought… Meh, i suppose i could? And it began!
Just a little personal blog. Around 40 likes, nothing special… Just somewhere to rant and rave about the ridiculousness that came with my day to day life as a mother. LIKE BEING SHIT ON IN GREGGS.

4years later, 12 thousand followers and posts that have reached just under 10 MILLION people.

Liasing with famous journalists and even managing to have small appearances in the media.

And now of course, something i never thought I’d achieve, my own little book!

AND STILL i sit and think, man I’m just going nowhere.. Nowhere at all.
It’s easy to lose sight when your constantly moving, to think you’re never gonna make it.

But the truth is, I’d made it the second i started writing, because i enjoyed it. And thats what matters.

I’d made it when my words helped other people in their times of need,when they needed to know that they weren’t the only one who didn’t get changed all day or manage to do housework.

I made it when people bought my book and had it signed because THEY BELIEVE that I’m worth something.

I’ve made it. I just never knew.

Miracles ✨

Miracles do happen, and its something I’ve been lucky enough to experience so now i believe. But watching them happen over and over again is something that makes my heart sing.

My fertility journey was rough, heartbreaking, emotional ,and long winded.
I got my happily ever after with my gorgeous babies who annihilated my lady garden on their way into the world. But they’re here and forever i will be thankful for my miracles. (although a little sleep would be nice, but i won’t ask for too much eh?)

But with my journey, i extended – when i wrote my blogs, when i told my stories about heartbreak and miscarriages.

With every word i wrote i brought people in on their journeys. I met people at the beginning of their journeys.i got messages at the hardest parts. And was listening when it was clear they were giving up.In fact it’s what spurred my fundraiser on.

I’ve always been honest and shared everything I’ve learnt across the years i spent researching, infertility and miscarriages and i can only hope to help as many people that come to me. I’m no expert but I’ll happily tell you anything i do know if i think it’ll help you in any way.

This week I’ve been lucky to see SO MANY of those journeys flourish, this week alone there’s been around 4 pregnancy announcements that at one point i wondered would there ever be, and i know they wondered it too.

On top of that three messages about new pregnancies that look to be good.

HONESTLY i can’t tell you that i have ridden the waves amongst these peoples journeys, sometimes silently and sometimes as loud as i could.
I have been a silent cheerleader for many but this week i truly do believe in miracles as the announcements and messages just keep on flowing in.

I only hope and wish that you ladies who share your journeys with me, either personally, over message, in a group – i hope you realise that I’m so truly invested in your miracle endings and I’m so SO happy that you’ve finally got there.

Long may they continue 🎈🙏

The kid.. And the dick.

The story of the dick – and my kids face……

Ok it’s not QUITE as bad as it sounds. Believe it or not. Still frowned upon.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to be a better person recently, seeing all these sea turtles hurt by our rubbish in the sea,and you know just trying to be abit better in the rubbish department.

Turns out going through baby wipes the way i do (makeup, dusting, makeshift kids baths) is totally NOT GOOD for the environment.

So i thought right, well… Ok.. I’ll buy some reusable wipes and just start small like.. One to take my makeup off or whatever. No biggy.

Now with my jump to being a better human came wanting to support small businesses, call me Saint bloody Beth.
There had been a post on an Etsy page about not having as many sales as hoped for, ON A REUSABLE WIPE!!
So.. Duh. I bought it.

Turns out..they’re bloody fab and I’m totally feelin’ them. So when my 4year old oscar got toothpaste all round his mush before school… No fear.. The reusable wipe is here.

Just shove me on a pedestal and call me eco friendly, small business supporting, turtle saviour Beth. Right? Well.. I mean.. Yeah, i am totally great- BUT… (AND ITS A BIG BUT) i also forgot to mention one teeny weeny detail that i bought this ladies worst seller…..u know, because I wanted to help.

And the worst seller.. Was the worst seller because.. Nobody REALLY wanted to wipe their face with a reusable penis wipe.

So yeah.. I wiped a penis all over my child’s face. He asked some questions and like the good mom i am, i was diplomatic and honest and used the right names for the male anatomy.. You know.

Not great when he trots into school telling mrs Hoohar that mommy wipes his face with wet penis’s

Can’t wait to show the social services how I’m saving the turtles. 🐢

Incase you too wanna help the turtles.. Or perhaps a dick hasn’t touched your face for a while ,links below 👇