Worried the medication would make me a zombie…🧟‍♀️

I was so worried when I started taking my ADHD meds that I’d become a zombie,or a shell of myself.

When I was diagnosed I went through so many emotions but the biggest one was -so all my traits,my personality,my drive….that’s not ME ? That’s just the ADHD.

It took me a good while to really process everything,as all my traits were just “ADHD symptoms”

The thing is, it’s still very much me, medicated, I’m still fun ,flamboyant and a little bit nuts.
I’m just able to do things alot easier. It no longer takes me 14 working days to do a 3 minute job. And I no longer cry at the drop of a hat,or lose my marbles over the smallest thing.

And I’m still posing without a care in the world,with bright blue hair and multi colored , kids Primark crocs ✌️

#bluehair #adhdwomen
#adhd #adhdawareness #adhdmeds #lisdexamphetamine #bluehairdontcare #ikea #crocs #primark #poser #mentalhealth #womensupportingwomen #neurodiverse #nd #adhdlife #adhdbrain

Be a bit more ..YOU

You ever just not feel like YOU?
It’s happened to me a few times during motherhood.

I work hard to make sure I’m more than just mom, but it’s easy to fall into the trap.

One minute you’re in heels and itsy bitsy dresses the next you’re wearing crocs and makeups the furthest thing from your mind,your handbag was automatically swapped for a nappy bag and that was that.

I couldn’t work out this week why I was feeling so down,I just felt really crap about myself!

And I can’t help but feel it was purely because I fell back into that mumsy trap.

The plain hair..the sports bras and big knickers …

So..I did a thing,and I feel so much better.
I encourage everyone to do at least one non-mumsy thing to help you feel more you!

swimming lesssssons let’s talk about that?!!

We recently started swimming lessons for my 5 year old.

They’re so important! – I need to know that whilst on holiday hes not going to go under and require my assistance when I’m 12 down from the all inclusive 🍹(I joke. sort of)

But I didnt expect the pure stress and carnage of them, they’re only half hour lessons but it’s a military procedure to be there, be ready, with goggles and a towel and getting a spot to get dry in.

The stress I feel when there’s 25 wet 3-6 year olds toddling about a slippy overcrowded room fighting for a spot.. urgh.
(Although on the odd occasion I’ve managed to get one of the two curtained dressing cubicles, I’ve been a right smug b*tch.)

On top of this-the lesson itself, I’m sure I’m not meant to be watching with my heart in my mouth as he swallows more water than I’ve used in a week.Whilst the teacher commends his.. “good effort”

OH AND… the HEAT the HEATTTTT… Holy hell, I had to bring my toddler along today who kicks off because she wants to swim too 🙄
imagine dealing with a little sweaty screamy octopus in what feels like the DEPTHS of hell
whilst trying to get off a wet swimming costume elbow to elbow with a woman who CLEARLY stole my drying spot 👀

so yeah, that’s my review of swimming lessons.
it would all be a lot more palatable with a takeaway martini.

I pay £300 to….. What?!

I’m a strong believer in what’s for you won’t go past you..
But today really has knocked me about.
Today I worked out that it costs me money to go to work.
Not a little bit, like nearly £300 a month.

Trying to find the right balance is becoming difficult for me and on top of a few extra annoyances, like my child free night away going to shit because the hotel ended up with an almighty leak and my car breaking and costing too much too fix.. I was already pretty on edge.

But then 5 mins apart I had not one but two job rejections where I didn’t even make it to interview. One of them being a job I’ve been waiting on since February that I really wanted.I’ve always been very confident in myself about my abilities and usually when I get a job rejection I laugh to myself and think what a huge mistake they’ve made. But today, it’s got me wondering why they’ve not wanted me. It’s really knocked my confidence if I’m honest.

It’s a bad day, and I just needed to let that out because we focus so much on sharing our good days that we sometimes forget to share the sh*t.

In my head I thought you know it’ll be quite nice to be a stay at home mom for a little bit but, already the thought leaves me with this pressure of finding my own income (that’s just me putting the pressure on myself) and this sense of purpose I feel like I’ll lose not being at work. That people will judge me for relying on my partners income…

It’s strange…. Really strange because this would be the perfect time to set up something of my own, usually I have a million ideas but today. I have none. Blergh.

#downday #downtime #feelinglow #stayathomemum #resignation #parenting #childcareissues #childcarecost #thecostofchildcare #flexibleworking #workingmom #workingparents #privatenursery #daynursery #worksmarternotharder #mentalload #mentalhealth

Pregnancy and birth secrets

Recently found out a friend is pregnant, shes full of questions and it made me think…. What WASN’T i told about pregnancy, birth and babies.
Heres my list.

  1. You’re 4 weeks pregnant when technically you only conceived 2 weeks ago.
    Thats right 2 weeks of that you absolutely arent pregnant but because they go from menstrual period rather than conception date you’re a month pregnant – hence adding 2 weeks to your clearblue result.
  2. Car chairs (car seats) are crazily more expensive than i ever realised?!
  3. When you open a nappy and expose baby bits to cold air… They pee. BIG PROBLEM WITH BOYS SQUIRTING YOU WITH PISS! Top tip, open, close quickly, give a few seconds.. Open again.

4.when they’re newborn theyre actually REALLLLY BORING. and you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about ‘this isnt so hard’

  1. Sleep deprivation feels like it can kill you. There is a REASON its a torture technique.
  2. Baby boys get erections.
    You heard me correctly. This was a super awkward thing to not know about!!
  3. After a natural birth, touch your toes whilst peeing and have a jug of luke warm water to pour on your foof.

8.having your first poo after a natural birth is WORSE than birth. Ask to take home the gas and air canister. No but seriously, lactulose and soften it up, its rough.oh and pretend to blow up a balloon whilst ur on the loo. Just trust me, blow blow blow.

9.little baby girls can have a ‘period’ when theyre first born. Don’t panic.normal.

10.raspberry leaf tea will soften your cervix for an easy more progressive labour. Talk to your midwife about when to start this!

11.you cannot plan a birth, i repeat you cannot plan a birth. I mean.. You can try but mother nature sometimes has other plans. So dont be disheartened if it isn’t what you planned.

  1. If you ask 3 times for an epidural they cannot refuse… May be a myth.. May be a ledgend. Worked for me though.
  2. Breastfeeding is hard. Worth it. But really really hard.
  3. Despite this sounding incredibly scary, it’s amazing. Actually truly amazing.
  4. There is no meal equivalent to the first peice of toast after birth… Absolutely incredible.
  5. An empty cot is a safe cot. No mobiles, no blankets, no cuddlys. Nada.
    Just ur baby and a sleepbag.

17.isofix for carchairs makes life much.. Much easier. Check if they fit your car.

18.your CAR insurance MAY be invalid for 6 weeks after a c-section. Double check with your insurer

  1. You have to give birth to your placenta.. After your baby.
  2. THAT RUSH OF LOVE might not happen immediately. It might take weeks or even months. Totally normal.
  3. 3 day hormones are a thing!!! You will cry. Alot.
  4. Newborn clothes last approximately 30 seconds.

23.MASTITIS. Feels like two atom bombs in your tits and can have flu like symptoms alongside it- go doctor asap if you think you might have it.

24.Make sure you’re able to express if you need to be away from your baby for more than a few hours!

  1. Burp burp and burp again, gassy babies are hell.
  2. Download a white noise app, and listen to it on repeat for three years so that your baby might nap!
  3. Join an online baby forum where you compare baby poos and how useless your partner is.

28.your hair during pregnancy goes into a phase where you hold onto every hair. Making your hair thick and luscious. After birth you shed 9 months worth of hair…

  1. Oats increase milk supply, get flapjacks, Porridge and hobnobs. (apparently this is a myth but id still use it to get my fill of hobnobs 😂)
  2. Dont look your partner in the eye after birth without contraception you are VERY fertile.

31.nobody teaches you how to bath a baby. Theyre slippery. And the bath temp is an unknown.
Just go for ‘warmish’ and try not to drop them.

32.some mamas get a dark line down there belly right down to the foof.. No idea what its for mind u.

33.cabbage leaves out the fridge in your bra on engorged boobs, is a dream.

34.always point a little boys winky down in the nappy

35.second, third babies…. After pains… Omg you feel as if you’re delivering another baby

36.phantom kicks after the babies born… Scare the heebie jeebies out of me.

  1. The baby hairs that grow all round your hairline?!

Dont forget to like this page so you know alllllllll the things that come next (yes i snook this one in there)

  1. Do your pelvic floors… They are no joke made by midwives. Coming from someone who had a prolapse.(dont Google that) . And also pisses every time she laughs or sneezes or coughs

39.wouldn’t recommend viewing your foof in a mirror after natural birth. Not for the faint hearted.

  1. peppermint tea to help with trapped wind after c-section is a godsend but not to be used if breastfeeding.
  2. BABIES FIRST POO is like a sticky black tar – think black super glue.. Or black hair extension glue..

42.Think very carefully about a ‘hot curry to bring on labour ‘… Because you also can shit in labour…

43.you will always hear the baby crying when you’re in the shower. They’re not crying.

  1. Rolling over in bed heavily pregnant might take a few hours.rolling over in bed pregnant with SPD WILL take the entire night, make you cry and then you’ll decide the other side was better.
  2. Leave the baby bath full until a while after you’ve gotten them out.. The warm water sometimes makes them poop all in their towel.. And they need re washing.

Last but not least, NIGHT SWEATS. Have a few spare nighties, that is all.


© BD BLOGS 2020

I’d never really thought about it..

I’m not sure people will ever truly comprehend how tough it is to have a child with allergies. I didn’t. I’ll hold my hands up, I never for a second considered how bad it could possibly be, but living it day in, day out with our little girl is honestly so bloody shit sometimes.

I know i make jokes and laugh about parenthood but i also do like to shine light on things that are lesser known about and if you’ve followed me for a long time you’d know how difficult Eden was as a baby,
of course at the time.. We didn’t know why and her nickname was screamer.
She was labelled difficult, a naughty baby. And my fave lines were “its just colic”… “she’s got excema”
My doctor recommended so many cruel methods of letting her cry, put ear plugs in, etc… This was a baby in severe pain.

It took a lot of confrontation and bravery on my part to get Eden the things she needed (special baby milk, reflux medication, etc)

To this day (she’s nearly 3)we’re still waiting for her allergies to be tested properly!

I’m writing this because I don’t think I’d realised how much of a toll it was taking on us until a cashier noticed my cute “mini cupcakes” but then gasped at the price… I explained its because they don’t contain egg milk soya and therefore are vegan so the price reflects that, but that i didn’t want her to feel left out for our street party tomorrow.
Its really really shit when kids have things that i can’t let her have. It’s nobodies fault, it’s just shit.

I went on to show the cashier the £3 chocolate bar i had, and the 2 little yoghurts that were around the same price..
That it hurts my heart that she always gets boring easter eggs that cost and arm and a leg when I know she’d love one of those £1 peppa pig ones. Or those £1 for 6 paw patrol yoghurts.

I was explaining how she’d looked as a baby, almost like she was abused with all the bleeding scratches all over her, that her mits were always covered in blood and that she was constantly held standing up (thanks reflux) I used to be embarrassed if people would peer into her car seat, or feel like i had to explain the scratches. People used to try and give me tips like I’d not tried everything physically possible to stop her scratching.

I look back on her first 18months and it honestly brings back a lot of guilt, pain and trauma. In fact, it’s probably the number 1 reason that I won’t have any more children.

Its been a bloody long road and we’re still suffering now, (she’s actually just this second thrown up due to reflux… 臘‍♀️)

And i just NEVER KNEW how hard it could be having an allergy baby.
Trying to be sure that her nursery are careful, or that she doesn’t pick up a stray bit of food in soft play.

Knowing when to give piriton, and eating out is just another level of hell, being what feels like “a difficult” customer when you ask for ingredients of foods.

Its not great. It’s not perfect, but things are easier now for us. So if you’ve just begun an allergy journey, I’m so so sorry you’re going through it – IT IS A BIG THING, AND YOU DO NEED Support. Educate the family and friends around you, take the help, join the Facebook groups.
And like everyone will tell you, they’ll probably grow out of it, but that doesn’t help right now, what helps right now is support, understanding and love.

Sending you lots love and solidarity. ❤️

Look what i learnt today 😳

Today took a weird and wonderful turn,

Some of you may know I got diagnosed with ADHD this year, one of the things about ADHD is that you have something called hyper focus – it means you work on something that you’re interested in or enjoy and time sorta just stands still, before you know it… You’re 8 hours in and you’ve achieved something that usually takes a few weeks.
For example my book collection that I popped out in a year….

(yet I can’t just sit and revise for ten minutes on things i NEED to know pfft)

Today my friends, well…. I’ll just show you.

I’ve absolutely no clue why Gingy doesn’t seem impressed with my new talent 🤷‍♀️
The neighbours will have a shock when i rock up to the street party like this 😳🤦‍♀️😂

Platty joobs

Thinking out loud about how funny it is that there’s so many street parties going on for platty joobs – don’t get me wrong, I’m excited like… Truly I am,

I’m hoping the weather’s hot so we do it proper British style, you know, undercooked barbie food (I mean we’ll BBQ it even if it’s raining like.. Cos once the barbies out.. Its out isn’t it.?)
Serious sunburn, pissed up dad’s who decide to nearly break a limb on the hired bouncy castle and at least one or two arguments that have been stewing for good measure. Probably over the parking on the street, someone’s scatty kids and the neighbour who never accepts the parcels for you.

But like, also, those folk you’re chowing down on a jam and cream scone with, were curtain twitching, slagging you off on Facebook for breaking lockdown rules and dobbing you in for having 2 walks a day.

So if anyone brings out lots of the same food, generously, for the platty party.. Just know that was the bugger stockpiling and pushing over old ladies in Tesco….

Oh and god forbid any of you lot set off fireworks for this event, we’ll hear about it for weeks on the local Facebook groups 🙄

Happy Platty Joobs everyone. ❤️👑👸

Living in dreamworld

Fast approaching 30 with no REAL idea on what the actual foooook I’m doing.
I might look like someone who has it together (humor me) but honestly working out what I want in life, from a job… Is just HELL.
I’m stuck between dreamland believing that i should love and enjoy my job whilst making a crackin’ wage and the reality of needing a 9-6 that requires smart clothes that pays my damn bills.

I hear most weeks how I’m living in dreamworld and need to live real life and honestly.. I just don’t know whether to suck it up and enter the real world.. Or keep trying for that whimsical job I’m praying for..

A job that pays more than breaking even on childcare, whilst allowing me to be the creative, rainbow glitter loving nutter that I want to be,whilst not compromising family time.
Arghhhhhh… I don’t wanna settle.
But…. Maybe I’ll have too.

Insta kid

I’ll never have an instagram kid, you know the ones i mean, muted colors and clean backgrounds and hair done.

I’m not calling you out… I’d love one. I would but damn man, my kids are dirty 30 seconds after being dressed.
I don’t really own kid socks in pairs any more, unless i JUST bought them.. But once they’ve been washed, they divorce.. Its that simple, one stays and one returns periodically for a bit of fun.

They LOVE those shitty flashy character clothes with the plasticy stuff that goes weird in the tumble dryer.. and I’m sorry but i refuse to spend ANY spare time ironing.

I can use the time eating, i can use the time netflixing, or.. I can use the time screaming that it’s bedtime… I am NOT using it to take creases out of clothes that are going to have ketchup handprints on as soon as they come out of the wardrobe.

The other thing is, EVEN IF i bought the cute plain insta worthy outfits- my kids arent gonna pose. They’re not.. They’re just NOT.
I don’t know if its cause i didn’t prep them from birth… But… Its not happening for me.

So insta moms.. For real I APPLAUD you cause honestly… I can’t do it 😂